Ok I was getting really frustrated trying to figure out a few things around here but I managed finally, despite their malfunctioning help center!! Now if only I could find out if the inability to view profile pictures full size is a bug they're currently working on, or if it's some setting somewhere that I have to fix???
This is the first blog I've signed up to on an actual blogging site in years. I have a livejournal and a xanga account, but the xanga haven't touched in years, and I use the livejournal only as an online notepad for myself lately. My other blog is on Christianforums.com, but I haven't updated that in at least a few weeks, and I rarely update that one. I'm looking forward to reading all the other blogs I've just added to my list, it will keep me occupied between calls at work if nothing else.
I figure I might as well start a new blog, turn a new leaf so to speak. I was baptized into the (Christian) Orthodox Church last June, and I want to try to sort of clean out my life. Last night I made a list of long-term things I want to do, the main ones were to get rid of all my extra junk that I don't use, and pay off my debts. I have years worth of material and financial mess to clean up (think 6 years worth of income taxes). I'm looking forward to finally having all that done one day. I'm not setting any specific time limit, but if I can get it all done within the next few years I'll be happy. The material cleaning might not take as long, but then again, my definition of what has to go might change in that time :P You might wonder why I say years, I'm a huge procrastinator, and lazy to boot, wonderful combination eh? lol.
I don't exactly know what writing goals I have for this blog, I guess just a journal of my life and random thoughts to look back on someday years from now. When my parents moved this summer, they threw out my sister's old bed, which had been mine at one point, and underneath it was scrawled a journal entry I had written when I was 13 or so. It was interesting to read my thoughts from over 10 years ago :)
Another thing I had on my list is tied in with the subject of the homily at church yesterday. He was speaking about the commandments to love the Lord with all our heart, with all our mind and with all our soul, and to love our brother as ourself. Living in the city and using public transportation I come across plenty of brothers and sisters that I have to learn how to love, and not ignore. There was one face in particular that really got my attention on Saturday. My sister spent the weekend at my place, and she wanted to go to the Eaton center, so we went. Coming out of the McGill metro, there was an old bent man in a wheelchair that had been parked right in front of the doors to the Eaton Center. I've seen him once or twice before, and others like him as well. Attached to the armrest of his wheelchair was a wooden box with a hole in the top, and something written on it, I didn't take the time to read it, maybe it was something about why he needed money, or thanks for donations. He didn't say anything as I dropped my toonie in, he just stared up at me with a smile. He had on a green fisherman's hat, and he had a neatly trimmed white mustache, and blue eyes. But his mute smile of gratitude and his eyes broke my heart, reminding me of all that I have not done to try to love my brother as myself. A few minutes later I was explaining to my nearly-panicked sister over the turnstiles after she was told she needed a student ID to use her half-price tickets (she's 12), and forgot about it for a while. But later I was wondering to myself, I wonder who parks him there, if anyone, what is his life outside of those hours spent mutely waiting for someone to give him change? Is it a caretaker from some organization for disabled or elderly? or does he get there himself? Where does he live?
Again on Sunday before church, there were a group of 4 or 5 people sitting sharing a beer and a joint on the sidewalk near the corner store where I went to get change. I ignored the "hey miss" they directed at me. But I wondered to myself, what do I do? Where do I start? God knows. So I pray that He teaches me to love. And in the meantime try to sort out my life and live.
Last week I was telling a friend how I didn't know what to do with all the stuff I wanted to get rid of. Then the next day I missed my bus, so I walked 5 minutes to another one, which dropped me off at a different metro station than I usually get on at. As I sat down on the metro, right in front of me was a new poster, "do you have clothes or household items in good condition to get rid of?" of Renaissance, a non-profit organization that helps people enter the job market. Since then I've noticed those posters several times in the metro. I smiled and thanked God for this answer to my wondering. So Saturday afternoon me and my sister hauled several grocery bags worth of unused clothing to the nearest drop-box (which is only 5 minutes away by bus from my place, no room for laziness there! lol). It was nice to get rid of it finally after a year of it collecting dust in a bag in my livingroom! Now I just have to go through my closets and cupboards.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.